In the beginning of November I announced that I would give one of the Glenn Beck fans a very nice treat to my chocolate chip cookiesand they had to be creative to get them. I had announced it on The Real Mrs. Jeffy Facebook page and also on the Feeder’s Feed http://feedersfeed.coverpage.coveritlive.com/index2.php/option=com_altcaster/task=viewaltcast If you know me well I make a ton of cookies and love baking them and having my friends and family enjoy them. So of course I really wanted to share the love with the Beck Show Fans.
I have gotten to know them through Facebook and they have to be some of the most real and sweetest people you will every socially network meet. I would love to meet some of them in person and maybe one day I will. I have always liked meeting fans and getting to chat with them for a while.
So Jeff and I got a few requests in and I had to choose one but I had two I really enjoyed reading and they had me laughing.
So Jeff was the final jury on this and he just said to be fair, give them both one batch split and that is exactly what I did. So now for your reading pleasure, here are the winning entries.
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Dear The Real Mrs Jeffy,
I believe that the answer to your quandary is obvious: I am willing to sacrifice myself to help remove temptation from your husband Jeff. He is doing so well with his new found life style changes that I would hate to see him relapse. The Feed would not be the same without him! We were all so proud when he refused the Taco Bell from that weasel Stu and the chocolate concoction from Sarah. However, there is only so much will power a man, even a man of Jeff’s sterling character, can muster! The pressure must be immense.
While it isn’t exactly “…..my life, my fortune and my sacred honor….” I am willing to lug around an extra pound or three to help safeguard the future welfare of your family. Rest assured that IF the aforementioned home-made cookies should fall into Stu’s feminine little fingers – He would take them to the studio and place them as close to Jeff as possible! We as concerned family & friends must not allow that to happen. (Never, never I say, trust anyone who won’t eat meat. Unless of course you are also a vegetarian – then forget that part!)
In the interest of full disclosure: The Truth may not have an Agenda – But I do: I LOVE HOMEMADE COOKIES. (as well as pies, cakes, upside-down cakes, candy, cinnamon rolls, tarts, cobbler, cherries jubilee, cupcakes, ice-creams, donuts, cheese cakes, éclairs, jellies & jams, tiramisu, custards & puddings, Jell-O, whipped cream, gum drops, gingerbread, brownies, fudge, SMORES, Rice Krispy Treats, peanut brittle, muffins, Sopapillas, Pavlova, Baklava, Chestnut Kenton, Gulaab Jamun, and so on. Gummy bears/worms/assorted insects – NOT so much.)
In closing I will say that I absolutely – without hesitation promise to put any home-made cookies that might come my way to good use.
Jeff H
P.S. If more begging would help my case please let me know!
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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Jeffy,
I deserve to get some cookies because my very life depends on it. I have a disease called “fourth hour-ical tyrann-itis”, which was discovered by a man named Jim “Rollin’ Dude Heavy” Dingle one day while he was talking politics. It is caused by prolonged exposure to 4th Hour tyranny. Among other things this horrible disease prevents the body from getting the needed doses of Natasha given James K Polk Tuesday facts and tersin tazin bertations.
After much pain and suffering I went to see the experts Dr. Ernie Velveeta (from Beck U.) and Dr. Harold Flemlasky (from Hate U.) at the Bat Doctors Without Borders Institute (a division of Evil Conservative Industries). They gave me a bucket full of pills, but that didn’t help. They said “Screw the caribou, drill Alaska!” for a cure, but that didn’t help. There were rumors that for someone in Sun City, Florida named Wilfred listening to the Flap Jackson morning show in the morning on The Big Frog 109.9 reversed the affects of fourth hour-ical tyrann-itis. Then there were rumors of someone in ummmmmm… crap I forget what country it was. I only remember it was somewhere between Afwanistan and Zanzibar where this helped as well. But, this didn’t help me either.
They finally discovered the cure and we now know what the bees know. It isn’t tiger blood that causes BOOM, WINNING! That only causes weird talk show hosts to see the hernias of drugged up actors. The cure (it can clearly be said with certitude) is that you much, must, and much have the cookies baked by the spouse of “The Chosen One”, a.k.a. The Feed Czar.
With this I humbly submit my request to get some cookie. Thank you for your time.
Tim L.
Well I hope you get a good laugh as I and Jeffy did. I might have to do this again sometime. Now I am ready for some dessert!